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A tear for our ANZACs and a tear for Kate

Kate Malonyay lived – and died – about 200 metres from my home in Sydney.  I didn’t know Kate, but I’ve walked past her home hundreds – if not thousands – of times.  As the news broke first that her bruised body had been found, alone, in her apartment, after work colleagues raised the alert, my heart sank.  As the story evolved, and her ex-boyfriend jumped to his own death yesterday to evade arrest for her alleged murder, I felt anger.  What sort of selfish and gutless bastard is this guy, to take away the life, the promise, the joy that this woman brought to the world?

And then I was transported back to the UN Women event I attended this time last year, with the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence Against Women, Rashida Manjoo. Back then I was stunned to learn that – right here in Australia – one woman is killed every week by an intimate partner.  Who knew? Kate Malonyay, my unknown neighbour, was just one in fifty women who will suffer the same fate this year.  She lived in one of the safest streets in one of the safest communities in Australia, but it wasn’t enough to save her.

I spent this morning, like many Australians, attending a local Anzac Day service.  As the bugler played The Last Post, tears rolled down my face for my grandfather, and his mates, and the atrocities they endured.  All in defence of this nation that I adore as much as the air that I breath.  That they cared so much for their country, and one another, is at the heart of the mateship that underpins our quintessentially Australian culture.

And then I shed a tear for Kate Malonyay.  And her family who mourn her loss.  And her friends and colleagues who cared enough to raise the alarm. And I wondered what we can do to end violence against women? What more will it take?

At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them.


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1 month ago

Jen Dalitz

What are the lessons you’re teaching your kids? We took the opportunity of a holiday long weekend to visit my mum interstate as the timing of the trip coincided with my son’s favourite AFL team battling it out against my mum’s beloved team. Perhaps only those of you with the love for AFL will appreciate why we’d plan a long distance trip around a game of footy, but suffice to say it was a passion project! With every ounce of anticipation, the game was a tough, tight duel and could easily have gone either way. Yet when the final siren sounded, it wasn’t our team that was smiling. It sure is tough for a 10 year old boy to sit within a crowd 41,000+ people all cheering for the opposite side. It was tough for him to see the exhaustion and disappointment on the faces of the players he adores. And yet, it’s so important for him to learn that his team won’t always win. There’s so many lessons in that, but the one I chose to instil is that you won’t always back the team that wins but you’ll always back the team that you love. That’s why I asked him to wear his team colours home the next day, and show his support even when the chips are down. That’s the kind of commitment I want my son to learn and the kind of team player I want him to be. PS. #gotheGiants @GWSGiants #neversurrender ... See MoreSee Less

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3 months ago

Jen Dalitz

I haven’t been here in a while as the writing has been on hold. But I was reminded today that there are things in our life that light us up. That might take us out of our comfort zone but, once you sit with it, bring you both joy and a sense of “I can do this” achievement. These moments are such a gift. So I’m curious, what’s your special thing that lights you up?

Despite (or in spit of) my professional career, these moments for me normally involve my horses. I’ll never be an equestrian Olympian, but I take great pleasure in all the lessons my horses teach me. They remind me that it’s a team effort, we’re in it together, and that if I’m prepared to give a little bit more, they will too. That’s true whether we’re on the ground taking care of their feet, or grooming, or when I’m atop riding as one. Two hearts one team.
It’s hard to describe the adrenaline and joy they bring to my life. But I’d love to know, what lights you up??
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And so, maybe time does change some things. Or women do.

Skavlan Talkshow
– They let me go at 42 because they told me I was too old to represent women's dreams. #kvinnedagen

Watch our talk show interview with Isabella Rossellini here:
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