After working with many outwardly successful women over the past 20 years as an intuitive profiler and corporate trainer, it still shocks me how often they doubt their abilities and fall prey to thinking “I’m a fraud”. Why do women internalise their accomplishments rather than celebrate them and minimise their success as mere “luck”? Women think about what they perceive success will bring them in respect to their identity before they achieve it, but see a different result when they get there. You may think that success will deliver strength
and empowerment, yet you need to project beyond this point to juggle your success with the demands of relationships, friendships, family and
other life aspects.
Women refuse to put themselves first.
As a society we see ambition in women as
aggression, so an ambitious woman is perceived as either angry or
unfulfilled. When you put yourself first and make a decision based on
your needs – you are labelled selfish. When women feel that success
comes at the expense of everything around them, rather than the vehicle
that supports everyone and everything, I believe they experience a
subdued shame from their success and often live in guilt and anxiety.
When starting out women rarely think how their growth and
development will impact on their sense of individuality, psyche and
identity.
Women know intuitively that their success has
meaning, yet when change such as family comes into their lives they
suddenly become overloaded because they have not emotionally made these
rules of engagement work for them pre-success.
So what you can do to become empowered in your success – however you define it?
- Decide why your success is important to you. What does it allow you and create for you?
- Decide how you wish to use your success to enhance other areas of your life.
- Understand that success in some life areas does not mean instant success in other areas.
d) Make
a plan beyond your immediate success that is flexible enough to allow
for family and relationship changes and that is realistic and workable
for you, not what others expect of you.
e) Understand
that you can absolutely have it all – you just need to plan everything
and ensure that you bring in resources you need to support your
continuing success.
There is nothing “lucky”
about achieving your success goals and nor is there any “fraud”
involved in recognising when you need help to plan and manage success in
the many areas of your life. Women are taught to feel guilty about so
much that the real fraud lies in not recognising your value and not
taking steps to harness your potential success across every aspect of
your life.
About the Author | Professional
Psychic, Intuitive Profiler and Spiritual Philosopher Julianna Suranyi
helps thousands of people with personal guidance, behavioural change and
spiritual growth online, corporately, via her courses and in the media
at www.julianna.com.au